Fourth Variation: 20 October 2012
With
special dinner guests James and Leslie Van Wormer
My
parents found out I started cooking, and wanted to be included in the tasting –
as my sister had tried some, so must they.
So they somehow maneuvered their way into having me ask them over for
dinner, as they do, and we had Chili the Fourth. It was my finest variety yet.
Having
learned lessons from the previous weeks’ experiments, I felt confident in
preparing a classic-tasting chili with a solid level of spice. I had found out that the way I was preparing
the peppers (removing all seeds and white shit from the inside) lessened the
hotness, and that would have been a good thing for people like my parents, who
claim not to like hot things. Of the
peppers chosen, I left the seeds in the serranos only, and used crushed red
flakes on top of that.
I
actually lucked out, not knowing my mom was allergic to Tabasco sauce, I just
happened not to put any in. I thought
about it, remembered she didn’t like spicy things, and opted on Worcestershire
sauce instead. Marissa asked how I
didn’t know she was allergic to it, and Mom probably told me at one point but
she talks so much, it’s difficult to decipher between “necessary” and
“unnecessary” words that emerge from her mouth.
This
chili, while my best yet, was not without its faults. I feel that the ratio of meat to vegetables
was too low, and I had one-too-many onions.
The onions seemed so small in the store, so I figured two would
suffice. That assumption proved the
expression about assuming things.
So
my mom asked if she could bring anything.
I was taken aback by this suggestion and said that the chili is a dish
prepared start-to-finish by me and a side dish would take away from the focus
of the meal. And as she talked her way
into my kitchen, she talked her way into bringing over a loaf of bread. “That would be fine,” I said, not knowing the
bread would have margarine (possibly of the spray variety) soaking it. My wife found out I turned down salad, which
is what my mom makes best. Say what you
will about my mom’s cooking, but she can toss a mean salad when she wants to. And you know what? She apparently didn’t want to that fateful
Saturday. It seems like she took a bag
of salad from the store (the one with snow peas in it) and put it in
Tupperware. That’s it. When she got here, she put some oil and
vinegar on it, mixed it, and served. It
tasted okay, but I really try to use only fresh ingredients, at least as much
as possible in the chili, the pre-made salad and margarined bread just were
unnecessary additions. There was also a
noteworthy part of the meal when my mom spilled salad on the floor. I was nervous that it was chili and was relieved
to find out that it was just salad.
Whew!
My
mom also brought over her own bottle of red wine, half drank on a previous
date. That’s a classic “mom” move,
something she’s been known to do not only as a dinner guest, but to restaurants
as well. Prepared for this, I have one
mom-approved red wine glass on hand at all times. And yes, she’s the one that brought it over
years ago. Everyone else just puts up
with something that holds wine and is clean.
Ingredients:
½
lb. ground beef
½
lb. hot Italian sausage
2
yellow onions
4
cloves of garlic
6
jalapenos
1
yellow bell pepper
1
poblano pepper
2
serrano peppers
3
Red Fresno peppers
2
cherry peppers
*2
plum tomatoes
3
vine-ripe tomatoes
1
large ‘fancy’ tomato
4
tomatillos
Spices:
Chili
powder; cumin; crushed red pepper flakes; salt; pepper; paprika; *Worcestershire sauce
Toppings:
Bacon;
chives; Seriously Sharp cheddar cheese; Sour cream
